BEWARE THE IRON SHEIK
The Iron Sheik stopped by to promote his return to the Killers of Comedy line-up and told the crew that rumors about his recent behavior were untrue: “That jabroni Beetlejuice has a big mouth!” Sheik went on to complain about sharing a room with Beet when the comedy crew's on tour: “It was insult!” Howard asked if he knew that Beetle was at least partially retarded, but the Sheik claimed not to have known this. Howard then noted that Sheik recently got kicked out of a bar after the bartender claimed she didn’t know who he was, so he let lose with some of his favorite insults. Sheik claimed it was all the bartender’s fault: “She make me very mad.”
The Sheik confessed that his wife of 35 years left him three months ago because he was poor: “She's a no-good golddigger!” Howard said he'd heard she left the Sheik due to his alcohol and drug use, but the Sheik claimed he'd changed his ways: “No more hard. No more coke.” The Sheik's manager came in to confirm the account: “I watch him on the road. It's a full-time job.”
“I AM LEGEND! YOU ARE FAT PIECE OF SHIT!”
Sheik then told several antagonistic callers that he was going to f’ them in the ass, but when Howard asked if the Sheik had ever followed through with the threat, the Sheik admitted that it was “against his Shiite religion.” A fake Macho Man Randy Savage called in and, as usual, the Sheik called him a “cheap Jew son of a bitch.”
Artie then called in as “King Kong Bundy” to tell the Sheik he was gay, so the Sheik replied, “I am a legend! You are fat piece of shit!”
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NORM PROVES IT: RALPH IS OFFICIALLY GAY
Ralph called in to tell a story about having dinner with Norm and a few others and Norm reaching over to put his hand on Ralph's thigh. Ralph didn't say anything so Norm left his hand there for several minutes before finally announcing that “Ralph's really gay! I've had my hand on his leg for five minutes and he hasn't moved it or said anything.” Norm laughed that the move was just his way of testing a guy's sexuality, but Ralph claimed he wasn't gay, although he wasn’t really sure why he put up with it either: “I don't know. I thought it was funny!”
BIGFOOT & ANGELIQUE MORGAN FACE OFF
Howard welcomed Bigfoot and porn star Angelique Morgan ( Nude Pic Above ) to the studio to play Bigfoot Password. Howard asked Bigfoot if he was getting any action lately, so Bigfoot told the crew that he frequents a few women of the night: “I paid one girl with a laptop it is...you better believe I banged her. All night long.” Bigfoot said he paid another girl with a fifth a vodka “and a couple other things I can't talk about on the air it is.”
Angelique told the crew she was also hitting some roadblocks on her way to love: every guy she meets is “super gay or is, like, taken.” Bigfoot said his recent legal troubles in the state of Vermont have solved themselves: “They found me uncompetent it is.” Richard then called in as “Vermont” to threaten Bigfoot, but Bigfoot wasn't scared: “My problem is your Newport cops up there in Newport it is...I wouldn't even hire them to push my wheelbarrow around.”
DUMBASS PASSWORD
Howard asked Bigfoot what he'd do to Angelique, and he responded quickly: “Prolly eat her out and lick her tits. I don't know prolly stick my dick in a few times. You know, do her every which way.” Howard then explained the Password game and gave the first word “nun” which Angelique didn’t even know how to describe, so Howard gave her a new one, “clitoris.” Angelique's clues, followed by the guesses they prompted from Bigfoot:
Orgasm. “F’ing you?”
Female. “I don't f’ng know.”
Sex. “Coming on herself? Having an orgasm to herself?”
Angelique's next word, “vagina,” didn't go much better:
Pussy. “Juice.”
Female. “I don't know.”
Orgasm. “F’ing on her tits?”
Bigfoot tried his hand at “astronaut,” with Angelique guessing in vain:
Space. “Sky.”
Stars. “Galaxy.”
Moon. “Sky.”
The pair then struggled with the word “monster” for several rounds in a row, first with Bigfoot's horrible guesses:
Halloween. “Prick or preet.”
Scary. “Herman Munster.”
Ugly. “Sasquatch?”
After the two switched roles, Angelique guessed “monster” and Howard presented the pair with $2,500 to split between
Howardstern.com
CHEVY CHASE IN STUDIO
BEWARE THE LANDSHARK
Chevy Chase made stopped by for his very first visit to the show to promote his charity, and Howard asked how Chevy got started in show business. Chevy said he started out writing in college and moved on to Channel One and then Mad magazine, Alan King, and, later, Saturday Night Live. Howard wondered why Chevy left Saturday Night Live, and Chevy explained that he let the first season's success go to his head and ruined his relationships with the cast members. Howard asked what Chevy’s favorite SNL skit was and he answered, “Landshark.”
After a while, Chevy introduced himself to Artie, which cracked everyone up – Chevy clearly hadn't remembered Artie from the week they'd spent working together on "Dirty Work." Artie had to remind Chevy about the time they worked together, and Chevy lamented that the best scene in the script never made it to the screen. Artie agreed, describing the prank – a giftbox of defiled doughnuts with a picture of them being violated at the bottom: "Somewhere out there is a picture of me and Norm with doughnuts on our cocks."
Howard asked Chevy how much he was paid to film “Caddy Shack,” so Chevy reported that he got $800,000 for a week's worth of work. Chevy said he was also offered “Animal House,” but he turned it down (“I'd already lived it.”) to work with Goldie Hawn. Howard marveled at how good Goldie looked at the time, and Chevy agreed, noting that he didn't manage to bed Goldie until after the movie was through with principal production
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DANNY BONADUCE VS. BOB LEVY
LEVY & BONADUCE FACE OFF
The Reverend Bob Levy and Danny Bonaduce stopped by to promote their upcoming boxing match, and Howard told Bob that he should re-think the whole affair. Bob said Danny's lifelong training meant nothing: “This is all I need for Danny.” Danny stripped off his shirt to show Bob the shape he's in and explained how the two started feuding: “Bob comes in and slaps me [in front of the cameras at some event] and thinks he's gonna get famous.”
Danny said he was taking a lot of steroids to prepare for the show: “I have no concern for my health.” Danny also bragged about his new girlfriend, a 26-year-old tenth-grade math teacher. Howard asked Danny how he planned to take Bob out, and Danny explained that he would take one of Bob's punches. If it hurts, he'll take Bob out early. If it doesn't, he'll torture Bob for all three rounds. Howard pleaded with the guys to call off the fight, but both refused.
howardstern.com
"MAD DOG" PROMOTES HIS NEW SHOW
MAD DOG ARRIVES AT SIRIUS
Chris “Mad Dog” Russo stopped by to promote Mad Dog Radio, his new SiriusXM channel, and told the crew that he got his freakishly tan skin from playing with his four kids on the beach at his house down the shore. Howard asked how Chris became a San Francisco Giants fan instead of a Yankee fan, so Chris explained that he grew up during the early 70s when the Yankees weren’t that good and got sick of his father, a life-long Yankee fan, constantly going on about Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle. Howard wondered if Chris' father wanted him to take over the family's jewelry business, and Chris said he did, but his old man eventually came around and supported his son's decision to do radio. Howard asked Chris if he would be pleased by his former co-host's failure, but Chris resisted: “Can I say he'd be equal?...That's not gonna make me happy.” Howard then told Chris he was going to love working at Sirius. SAY IT AIN’T SO MAD DOGHoward asked if Chris ever gambled on sports, and Chris said he could get “a little carried away with that. I like to make seasonal bets.” Chris said the issue was tricky: “If you're mad at a team for losing a game, the gambler thinks you lost money on it.” Chris then showed the crew how upset he can get when the Giants lose – including, at Howard's request, a very uncharacteristic f-word.
REBECCA ROMIJN IS A KNOCKOUT
Howard said Jerry should try pressuring Rebecca to let him attend the wedding, as she couldn't be cruel enough to punch him out again - and then played a clip from the Wrap-Up Show in which Jerry discussed the incident, in which a drunk and hysterical Rebecca punched him out for golfing when he said he was elsewhere. Jerry explained: “I would [defend myself], but I'm afraid of getting punched again. I'm kidding! I'm kidding, honey. She's listening in her car right now and punching the steering wheel.”
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